Life as a Mormon in Utah Valley

This is a poem I personally composed. Yes, I am LDS (aka: Mormon). Yes, I do poke fun of Mormons in this poem. Juuust making fun of myself and everyone else. So please, don't be offended. :)

Utah Valley: The Land of Milk and Honey

Utah Valley, the land where men with long hair are rare, and everyone's skin is oh so fair.

We don't talk about sex, the boys at the gym love to flex.

We are a nation who loves secret fornication.

A week of dating leads to marriage where new queens ride off in their carriage.

Young ladies cook their husbands dinner and try not to be sinners.

Many of us are Mormons. We cook lean, cheap potlucks in our George Foreman's.

The land of the gospel – where young men strive to be apostles.

Where everyone loves Romney, most see him as next to godly.

 If you have a beard you are weird. Just kidding.

Amen.